Sunday, August 14, 2011

The City, as it stands


Voices cringe
As present and future
Mingle on a past refused

Tar is poured
Cracks are filled
Like Hershey unto dairy
Infiltrates the crevices
With a syrup-sugary sweet-
Deterring opinion from the reality
Of pavement entrenched in sleep

Skeletons linger-
Long past their time,
Framework abandoned-
Alive yet hollow,
In memories we choose to forget

Frailty grays composition
As interiors accept their decay
Yet the podium refuses such horizons-
Flavoring the conditions, as if we’re composed of clay

The above piece was created for D'verse, and Claudia's "Going Urban" writing prompt. 

This type of poetry isn't something I normally take part in, simply because, when referring to a city or a place, you must force yourself to live within the moment, the architecture and observations of that particular place and/or moment.  You don't have to spell things out completely, but pure abstractions and/or puzzle pieces, which are the types of poems I most normally engage in, really aren't proper fits for a City Poem, when staying truest to the form.  At least that's how I see it anyhow.  

The best City Poems, in my opinion, are the ones that take you on a walk.  Observations of the physical environment, notes along such a journey, immersing oneself within the overlooked minutia of the everyday.  I didn't really do that here.  

I took the least abstract route I could for myself, and looked at my city from a few vantage points, what once was and what is now.  Not exactly what a City Poem is all about, but it's the closest I could get to.  

But this all said, trying to think in ways contrary to one's comfort level is extremely important, not only for the poet and artist, but also for the people as a whole. When someone expands their limits, despite the result, they add nuances to their being.  Anyhow, that's all for another time another discussion. So, anyway, I relish all the forms and prompts provided by sites such as D'verse, as they truly do assist the quester along his/her never-ending crusade for Creativity and Artistic Challenge.  So my thanks go out once again:)

9 comments:

  1. it is good to get out of that comfort zone on occassion...smiles. you did well...my fav stanza, as it is still abstract but gets the urban grit is...

    Tar is poured
    Cracks are filled
    Like Hershey unto dairy
    Infiltrates the crevices
    With a syrup-sugary sweet-
    Deterring opinion from the reality
    Of pavement entrenched in sleep

    watch out for those skeletons as they tend to come back to life...

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  2. fred - i really have to say that i enjoyed your more abstract city poem, read your footnotes and feel it's totally interesting to see a city painted like an abstract painting because you see it from a different angle then..i really like this

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  3. Your poem can apply to any city, in my case, I would picture the urban (old) Toronto City. Though some of its buildings are new, there are a lot of abandoned and decayed areas; even historic sites preserved for tourists.

    I can relate to the stretching of one's writing as I am also in this journey. But I think its fun learning new things; until now I am still studying in my field and I have been out of university for many years.

    Happy sunday to you ~

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  4. Well I'm glad you decided to write a poem for this. Very enjoyable and well done. And yes somebuildings stay erect much longer than they should, as do some city politicians :).
    Very good job.

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  5. Wonderful job mixing past and present change, I tend to agree when really describing a city you have to take many aspects into affect, but you truly did it with this piece.

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  6. Of pavement entrenched in sleep...Sir, where do you come up with such phrases. A different tone for you, but as enjoyed as your puzzels ;) And we must extend our thanks to you for joining in...it's always a much enjoyed adventure!

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  7. Thanks for the wonderful comments and feedback. Really glad so many enjoyed this piece. Wasn't quite sure the reaction I'd get here, as mentioned not my comfort zone here, but I was pleased with the result, I thought, and after reading each of the comments here, I am pleased. Comfort zones are important to, if not break free from, than at least to work on finessing, points of view are sometimes, just that, but there important to understand others viewpoints and line of sight, I'll call it that, which can shed new light upon a subject, whether you wind up agreeing with it or not, it's always been my opinion that the more info you have to work with, the better developed your own view shall be.

    Heaven, I hadn't thought about it like that, but after traveling extensively for 12 years I can see exactly the point you bring up, and think it offers some great understanding. What seems like unique, frayed, brilliant etc... is often times intrinsically tied into your individual point of perspective, but when compared to all other points of the spectrum, in this case other places, you find out that what you're dealing with, what you see can also be seen through the eyes of others, in the lives, streets, buildings etc.. of other places, offering a connection beyond words, a linkage that, when dwelled upon, provides a bit of reassurance, if not comfort, that you are not alone in your view, your struggles, etc.. It can also be a humbling of sorts as well, which again is very important also.

    Tash, I really have no idea where the things floating around my head come from half the time. But I do know that if I don't jot them down, or record them, I'll forget them and after I find I'll be searching for them but can't recall what was what.

    This truly was a good project, and both enlightening and fun to watch the challenges smoothen out somewhat. Thanks again.

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  8. I think you've meshed the city as being both concrete and organic/living in this one. To me the ideas and images seem to morph this way and that -- you are talking about hardness of city buildings and the next moment they seem to be about the population and their attitudes. There's noise, there's the new coming in, the old lingering about, left behind; nothing is set in stone nor stays the same ("frailty") and the entire city continues to build and rebuild on itself, as "clay" seems to imply.

    On comfort zones and such: I always find abstract poems uncomfortable, because I'm so used to having to have to get things exactly right. But I'm learning to enjoy them lately, even if it's just being puzzled by them.

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  9. Raven, thanks so much. I really appreciate the feedback and very glad you enjoyed the write. Puzzle pieces are tough sometimes as you want to tie so much into such a small spot yet you want to be crafty enough to make the "mystery" challenging enough for the reader but not too difficult that they never arrive at where you want them to go. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to paint a scene with words in such precise detail that a camera couldn't show it better. All poetry is a blessing. Thanks again, really appreciate the comments

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